Weekend Thoughts: Time

I've always been someone that tried to cram as much into life as possible. Even as a kid I would find ways to make my days endless-- from juggling homework and school sports to hanging out with friends and family combined with a million other little things I would be doing.

Still, I multi-task. I constantly find myself dividing my attention and energy to different things at once (from brushing my teeth while catching the last few minutes of Modern Family to cooking dinner while simultaneously pouring myself a glass of wine). I have this obsession of trying to fill every hour. I can't bear to sit still and watch a long movie (unless of course Leo DiCaprio is in it....) without folding my laundry or checking for new recipes online. I can't be in one place without my mind constantly wondering: "what's next?" Even if I am out enjoying a nice dinner five minutes into the first course I am already planning what's for dessert. I guess you could say I'm restless, a quality in myself I wish I could control. Over the years I developed a misguided conception that life is meant to be filled, that each minute of every hour is meant to be chock full of activities, adventures, and accomplishments. I thought life was too short to waste my time not doing anything---so I always had to be doing something.

The thing is.... that's not true. Life isn't meant to be constantly filled. What I have realized is that the most important thing we have in life is time. To me, time is more valuable than anything else. Time is a scary thing and I think this is something I knew all along, but never truly understood what it meant. I thought it meant that I had to be time-efficient, that I had to do everything as fast as I could so I could move on to the next best thing. But time is meant to be savored and moments are meant to be collected. It's so easy to eagerly anticipate what's next and get excited about what the future holds but what matters is the present. It's being present in the moment with the people you are with. Life is about enjoying the quiet times in between the busy times because its the quiet times when some of the most positive self reflection happens.

I am trying to cherish the moments and collect memories. I am finding new ways to slow down and breathe and not get so caught up in the fast-paced world I live and thrive in. For me that means drinking my coffee slowly in the morning, savoring the quietness on my runs, and enjoying the company of my friends and family over extended dinners and drinks. In the end, I will probably always enjoy the thrill of being busy, but now I understand how important it is to slow down every once in a while.